Do You Have What It Takes to Work at Casa Bonita?

South Park’s Matt Stone and Trey Parker are hiring. WRITTEN AND ILLUSTRATED BY PETER MOORE

Road 2 Elsewhere by Peter Moore
3 min readFeb 22, 2023

In Sunday’s column for the Colorado Sun, I took a look at the latest project by the South Park creators. For years, they had their abrasive cast of devil-children make fun of a Colorado culinary institution named Casa Bonita, and then they bought the place after it failed during the pandemic. Now they’re hiring, in anticipation of a spring re-opening. Tired of quiet quitting? Maybe it’s time for you to loudly apply for a new job, in Lakewood, Colorado.

COLORADO GOVERNOR JARED POLIS and Executive Chef Dana “Loca” Rodriguez announced last week that 550 new jobs were on offer at Lakewood’s revived and renovated Casa Bonita. Want to work there? We lifted these job qualifications verbatim from the Casa Bonita website, under listings for “Entertainer (Dry)” and “Entertainer (Wet).” Applicants please note: Your prospective boss admits to the nickname “Loca,” and Casa Bonita’s new owners — South Park’s Matt Stone and Trey Parker — made the restaurant the focus of a juvenile kidnapping in season seven, episode 11.

But if you love what you do, is it really work?

Interviews in March, training in April, face Cartman and his hungry little pals in May!

Job requirements include:

  • “Immersive and improv performances to prescribed tracks.”
Comedian in a chicken suit performs at Casa Bonita
  • “Puppeteering”
Casa Bonita H.R. person operates employees as puppets
  • “Staged stunts,
Waiter at Casa Bonita performs somersalts, while carrying a tray.

staged romance [#metoo #ick],

Servers perform romantic acts at Casa Bonita.

or choreographed combat

Servers fight it out at Casa Bonita.

including jumping in pool from up to 16 feet.”

Server dives off the waterfall at Casa Bonita.
  • Must be able to balance on one foot and hold arms above your head.”
Testing an employee at Casa Bonita for acrobatic skills.
  • “Many of the skits require running around the stage or climbing on the rocks. It may include stooping, kneeling, crouching, crawling, or climbing on the rocks around the pool.”
Servers on a climbing wall at Casa Bonita.
  • “Able to deal with potentially impatient or unpleasant guests who may have been in line for hours.”
The South Park kids wait in line at Casa Bonita.
  • “Must have a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at the absurdities of life.”
Worker at Casa Bonita laughs at his tiny paycheck.

Click here to apply!

For bonus hilarity that wouldn’t fit in this ‘stack (there’s a size limit — what the hell?), click here.